Joy in Laughter

I'm sure by now, if you have been reading my posts you have seen a common thread.  My intention of this blog is to be honest about me and my growth in my trek through life.  In a way, it is my journal that you all get to read!  (The toned-down version of my journal that is).   I consider myself an open book (ask me anything!), but this blog has to be clean.    My Dad occasionally reads it.  Some things are going to be on the down-low.   Despite the PG-13 rating,  I speak my truth in my posts and what I write about comes from my heart.  (If you want the down and dirty, just wait until my book comes out, ha ha.)  Sorry Dad.  And you might be thinking, after reading my last post, "what's all this about fashion?!  Where did this come from suddenly?!"  Is this the same girl?

Don't you just love how I refer to myself as a "girl"?  It goes to my personality.  I like to think of myself as fun, loving, free-spirited and joyful.  My favorite thing to do is to hang out with my kids and their friends and laugh about silly stuff.  Ask my kids and they will confirm this as fact.  My favorite movies are Fletch and So I Married an Axe Murderer (Mike Myers playing his character's Scottish father brings me to tears every time!).  To sum it up, I am a girl.  In every way.  Wink wink.  I believe that laughter is the best medicine.  I can find humor and a smile even in the midst of anguish.  But that's just me.  I've been given a new chance at life, and while I may screw up (A LOT), I'm trying to do my best every day.

A very close friend, who's opinion matters a great deal to me, mentioned  that my post yesterday didn't sound like me.  I took this to heart, so I just re-read the post "Fashionista in Suburbia".  I still think of it as a fun piece, a little stray from the norm.  A "fluff" piece.  But I can see where I may have come across as a bit snobbish throwing Vogue around.   And it may have seemed that I hold material items such as designer threads in high regard.  I actually don't.  I have clothes in my closet that are boutique-purchased, but they are hanging next to clothes I bought at Target.  Vintage t-shirts are my absolute favorite possessions in my closet.   However,  I really do love to read Vogue!  I just don't consider myself a slave to clothes and fashion.  This may have come across in that post.   But I will say that I do consider fashion to be fun.  A lot of fun!

As a little girl, I loved to play dress up.  My Grandmother had this trunk filled with her old gowns, jewelry, shoes and bags.  I would spend hours pretending to be a fashionista socialite.   They had to drag me away from the trunk at dinner time.  I remember one time (when my mother wasn't there), I begged my Grandmother to let me wear one of the gowns to the grocery store.  (My Grandmother never said no to me).  Of course she let me!  It is a memory that I cherish.  I even wore high heels that were much too big for me.  I think I was 6 and I felt like a princess.

As an athlete, a lot of my time is spent training.  As such, most mornings I throw on workout clothes, do my "chores", take care of the kiddos, workout, work.  At some point I will take a shower and put on jeans.  This is my every day typical day.   I have 19 pairs of jeans. The dresses I own are in protective bags because I so rarely wear them.  (Except for the summer sundresses....they become part of my uniform when it's hot, just being honest.)

What I was eluding to in my post is my love to get dressed up.  Looking through Vogue and pretending I could wear the beautiful clothes is a fantasy.  I do love to go shopping and love new clothes.  But these days, I'm being practical. I'm shopping in my own closet.   Sticking to the basics, because that's what matters.   What matters most to me is not buying expensive clothes, or what it says on the label.   What matters most to me is being the best person I can be.  Someone my parents can be proud of.  They weren't always so proud of me, but in the last few years that has changed, as I have.   I can look at myself in the mirror today and like who looks back.   It is especially important to me to be the kind of person my children are proud of.  There is nothing superficial about me.  I hope I did not give that impression.   The people in my life who really know me to my core are few, and I hold them dear and very close to my heart.  (You know who you are!!)

As I sit here in my usual attire of jeans and a sweatshirt (it's 40 degrees outside and I can't get warm) and type this, I'm smiling.  I'm smiling because I love to write and share the real me with you.  This is my passion, and (this may sound corny but I'm going to say it anyway) why I think I was given a second chance at life.  What you see is pretty much what you get.  And if you think I'm coming across differently, please feel free to ask me about it.  Seriously.

Alrighty...

In closing I am going to be honest and say that yes, occasionally I will put on a gown and high heels and I will love it.  When I do, I feel like a princess.  That's just me.