Thursday, October 18, 2012

In Touch with my Inner Goddess

I think I've finally come to grips with the fact that in order to really be ME, I've got to stop worrying so much about what other people think of me.  My inner goddess is itching to come out.  She's been dormant for too many years.

I've spent most of my life living in the shadows, doing as I'm told and trying to make everyone around me happy.  To make everyone like me.  To be the Good Girl.  But reality is....not everyone is going to like me!  Well...I'm sure most people will like me, just not all of them!  I'm snarky what can i say?  All I can do is live for the moment, put my best foot forward and just be Michelle.

              It's none of my business what other people think about me!

                              Speaking of putting my best foot forward:

Got a little work done today:)   I originally got the "Serenity" tattoo about 3 years ago.  But as I've grown, I wanted to embellish my serenity a little.  And also the tattoo.    So on a whim, I stepped into the only tattoo parlor in Carmel.  (At least it's the only one I've ever seen.)  I was driving down Main Street, and as I passed the tattoo shop, I noticed an empty parking place directly in front.  It was a sign!  So I parked (yes....parallel!!) and went right in.  Now, those of you who know me well know that I'm not spontaneous.  At all.  I'm a planner.  I am most comfortable when I have my week all scheduled so I know what I'm doing and when I'm doing it.  God help you if schedule something last minute!  But lately, call me crazy, the fun part of me is coming out more.  Suddenly I'm not afraid of spontaneity.

So I threw caution to the wind and took a risk.  I'm so happy I did!  The work is beautiful and I am so pleased with the result.  It's my party and I'll smile if I want to.  My choice.

I even put in my pink and purple hair extensions this afternoon.   I like them, they make me smile.  It's not something you'd expect from a Carmel Housewife.  Which is why I'm wearing them today.....because I want to!   And I'm not letting it hold me back that some people might find it unacceptable.  I find it acceptable and that's all that matters.  I'll have you know, my daughter and her best friend came home after school and loved both my hair and the tattoo.  They never even hinted that moms shouldn't have cool tattoos or pink hair.

I then proceeded to tell my daughter "No, you may NOT get a tattoo."

Sometimes I feel that since I was given a second chance in life, in a way I've started over.  And that's pretty cool.  Not everyone faces death in the face, gets a reprieve and a realization that they can make their future whatever they want it to be.  I know I was spared for something, what that is simply hasn't emerged yet.  But I'll know it when it happens.  Until then, I'm just going to keep on keeping on.  One day at a time.

So today I'm appreciating the strength I'm gaining.  And loving the fact that this formerly uptight Mom did something spontaneous just because the moment felt right.  I'm also happy that my daughter thinks I'm cool.   How do I know this?    She tells me!  And she never rolls her eyes at me.  Seriously.

It was a good day!

See you soon.  I have a lot coming up this weekend so I should have some interesting posts coming up.


1 comment:

  1. Like the new blog design! Yes, let out that inner goddess. I can relate to being in the shadows far too long, trying to be the “good girl.” Love your “Serenity” foot work! And the pink and purple hair extensions...I love it! Oh, I am such a planner and not spontaneous very often, so I applaud your spontaneity. You are an inspiration! :)