Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Just a Few Thoughts....

Before I head off to bed for a night of sleep I so badly need, I want to share a few thoughts with you:

I'm human.
I'm not perfect.
Sometimes I speak before my brain catches up with my words.
Sometimes I'm impulsive.
Sometimes I forget that I need to pause.

I'm giving you a glimpse into my life in this blog.  And my intention of doing this is to be true to myself. You're getting to see the real me.  Most days I'm on my game....some days I'm simply off.

I would say I've been in a bit of an off period the last couple of weeks, and especially in the last couple of days.  I was physically set back for awhile by the accident, and recently there have been some life set backs.  Occasionally life just happens.  Usually when you're not expecting it.  I have no control over this, but what I do have control over is how I handle it.

I'm being vague....I am tired.  I apologize.

I'm hinting at a few upcoming blog posts here.

I came to a turning point this evening when I read a comment from a colleague on my last post.  (My last post "Joy in Laughter" was a follow-up piece to a post I had written over the weekend, "Fashionista in Suburbia".)   My colleague called me out, and really made me think about why I wrote the follow up piece.   It was eye opening to say the least, and was a good reminder as to why I'm writing this blog.  My purpose is to be open and honest about my journey through life.   Putting my experiences and my random thoughts out there.  Falling down, getting up, looking back and learning about why I fell.  Laughing at myself.

Putting myself out there makes me vulnerable.  I'm okay with that.  Vulnerability is not a place I would have been comfortable a couple of years ago.  It still gives me a little pause.  But in order to overcome fear, I know I have to face it head on.  Allowing myself to be vulnerable allows me to be really honest.  Sure, I may get my feelings hurt.  But would I be true to myself if I didn't put myself out there?  I'm learning a lot about me in this blog.  It is making me stronger.  I am a writer, something I've always dreamed about.

Truth is...I second guessed myself yesterday.  Or rather, I second guessed my own writing.  A close friend told me "Fashionista in Suburbia" didn't sound like me.  It really threw me for a loop!  I thought "how can this be?"  So after agonizing over it for several hours, I wrote the follow-up piece to clarify myself.

This is not me.  I'm not a conformist.  I am my own person and I think this is why this friend grew to love me.  So I'm not sure why I let this comment make me be so hard on myself that I would write the follow-up piece.  I need to stand by my work and be proud of it.  I know that some days I may not come across the same way I will another day.  It depends on the mood du jour.  Owning what I say and what I ultimately publish is the only way I'm going to be.

So this is good.  I learned a little something about myself today!  And as I always say, it's becoming clearer the more I write.  There is passion in my words, can you feel it?

Just now, I happened to be looking through Twitter and noticed that BlogCatalog shared my post "Fashionista in Suburbia" on their Twitter feed.  Made me feel pretty good that out of hundreds of blogs, that one was shared tonight.  I must have done something right.

To quote William Paisley @YourPocketGuru, "If you had a "bad" day, don't worry....we all have a reset button.  It's called tomorrow."  Tomorrow is a new day, and a whole new chance to wipe the slate clean, brush myself off and start fresh.

Tomorrow is actually already here....as usual I'm up much too late.  Alarm set to go off at 6:00am.
Early bird and all :)  Namaste.


  1. Nice One Michelle. We all have made mistakes, errors, and been way too hard on ourselves. I like to listen to what others have to say, but then decide what direction is best for me. That way, I can take responsibility for my actions.

    I use to get quite hurt by what people use to say to me, but realised that they wanted me to be like them, but I wasn't them. I can only live my own life.

    Sometimes the more good you do in general terms in life, the more people will want to attack. I'm glad BC shared your blog, and I hope many others will get to see your lovely posts. Have a great day.