Tuesday, October 30, 2012

In the Waiting Line

I've been asked, "Michelle, why do you blog?"  It's simple...I am a writer.  I write, it's what I do.     This blog is my creative outlet, my fun time and sometimes my way of journaling.  Today it's also a time for reflection on a subject that sometimes gives me the heebie jeebies, and potentially hives.  Waiting.  Ugh.  (I may be exaggerating a little bit.)

I come to you today from a surgical waiting room.   A room created solely for the purpose of doing the obvious.....waiting.  (The name implies nothing positive).   I'm here to support a friend who is having surgery and needed my help.  The nurses just took her back, and asked me to wait here.  Waiting, as I have mentioned, is not something at which I excel.  It requires patience.  Being in waiting mode kind of drives me a little nuts, I'll be honest.  It's ironic because when I'm alone at home, or in Starbucks, lying on a chaise soaking in the sun, etc., idle time is enjoyable to me.  But spending time just waiting for an undetermined length of time,  is a smidge difficult.   Especially when I'm concerned about my friend.  Could it be I just need to change my perspective?

My choices right now: watch the Today Show, with a running commentary of the impact of Hurricane Sandy peppered with political commercials, or find a quiet corner to write.  I chose the quiet corner.    Being in solitude while writing is a wonderful distraction.  A welcome alternative to just waiting and twiddling my thumbs watching mindless TV.

With modern technology I can write anywhere and even post anywhere.  In college I wrote on an actual typewriter, and was limited to my desk.   It was romantic, with the clicking of the keys and the swoosh as the carriage was returned to the start.  But not very convenient.  Spellcheck was a Webster's Dictionary, or my own gut instinct.  And of course lots of White-out.  Writing is a bit easier today.  I carry my iPad everywhere and take all of my notes, write my blog and even write for my job on it.  My office can go wherever I do.  Today I am very grateful for that.

As I said that,  it gave me pause.  Why am I being negative, even if in a small way, about being here?  How counter-productive is that?!   Well, enough!  I am changing my attitude right now, and am getting into gratitude.   I am grateful that I can be here for my friend.   I am grateful for the coffee I'm sipping.  I'm grateful for my health, my smile which has emerged, and for this day.  I am grateful that I have the privilege of having some free time and time to give to others.  I am grateful for the opportunity to see that waiting can be a good thing, and that learning patience is a great thing.  I have no room in my life for negative energy.

Why rush life?  Just chill and let things play out.  I'm going to let the balls bounce around me and resist the urge to catch them and take control.  It can be so freeing.

This is why I blog.  Why I write.  While exercising my creativity, I can gain insight.  I can catch the errors of my way and make amendments.   And lo and behold, I did this while WAITING.  Imagine that?!

Meditation. Yoga.  It's how I start every day.  A change in perspective can, and should happen every day.  Every time negativity creeps in, I should pause and examine my motives for allowing that to happen.  I have a feeling that by doing that on a regular basis I will grow.  I'm learning to look at my part in every situation.  Not blame people or things for everything.  Chances are when I look within, I will see that I have some responsibility.

Suddenly I'm feeling great.  I'm still waiting, but I have a completely different outlook on it.  And I'm sure that my positive outlook will further help my friend when she comes out of surgery.

That's about it for now.  Going to say some prayers for the millions of people affected by Hurricane Sandy.   I've heard many sad stories.  Thankfully my family is well, and my sister (who lives on the beach in Virginia) is A-OK.  For that I'm grateful.  The politicians featured in the commercials I'm avoiding are on their own.

Thank you for being part of my attitude shift today.  Peace, Out.

1 comment:

  1. Nimsy Gratitude IS your friend ..its always there in a pinch..or did I mean, in the punch …fab writing my dear! xoxoxox