The saying "it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind" seems to be holding true for me these days. I am in a constant state of flux. This is described as "a state of uncertainty about what should be done (especially following some important event)." While there has been no earth changing event recently, there certainly has been in the recent past. I am making modifications in my life. Trying new things. With growth naturally does come change. Lately it seems as if I'm trying to figure out who Michelle really is.
It's interesting to me that recently, through writing, I am able to delve into these things where as before I would just bury them or ignore them. I think perhaps I was just going through the motions until now. Miserable. It is a good thing to have the presence of mind today to welcome change.
All of this struck me this morning when I changed my Facebook profile picture for like the fifth time this week. I would post a picture, sit on it for awhile, and decide the picture wasn't right. Then I would do it again. And again. You probably wondered what the hell?! Has Michelle finally lost it? (Ha ha, not yet.) Or maybe you didn't even notice, it could be my ego talking here. I finally settled on a picture that I feel shows the "real Michelle" I am today. It is a picture taken about a month ago. In it I am relaxed and happy. My exuberance and silliness of spirit shows. It's true that a picture speaks a thousand words and this one does me justice.. I am evolving, and I truly believe I am finally becoming the person I want to be (my true self). I joke about finally "growing up", but for years I was stagnant.
I was given a new chance at life four years ago. I almost died. Not an exaggeration. I survived and am running with my second chance. Through my thoughts and actions in the last few years I have broken free. I feel as though I'm the girl I was 20+ years ago starting again. My personality and my youthful approach to my life have been restored. I am the healthiest I have ever been! It's never too late to start over! I have a few more wrinkles and some wisdom gained through the years, but I feel very optimistic about the future.
So this is where I am today. Happily embracing a perfect day, enjoying the sunshine and a day of (almost) rest.