As far as weekends go, I would say this was a quiet one. My daughter was away at a church retreat so the house was a tad empty. I spent the bulk of the time watching my son, Nick play basketball. And when we weren't at the Fieldhouse I was cleaning out closets. I know....exciting. But sometimes quiet weekends can be pretty great. I had a lot of time to reflect and write. The weather was perfect for a run this afternoon, and I knocked out my scheduled 10 miles with a new killer playlist. (I'm addicted to Spotify...if you don't have it, trust me you have to check it out!) The cold run meant more time to reflect, jam out and mind blog. a.k.a daydream. Which is always fun.
What's on my mind blog today? Unfortunately not a pleasant day dream. Instead I was reflecting on some drama. Remember not too long ago when I wrote about choosing to surround myself with positive people without drama? Intention is one thing, reality is yet another.
It is not a perfect world, I'm not perfect and I'm not surrounded by perfect people. I have come to the conclusion that the only thing in this life I can control is me. I can only determine how I respond. There are a few people in my life now that are, let's just say...complicated. They mess with my mojo.
There was a time in my life that I was steeped in turbulence. If my life became serene I would search out chaos. Looking back upon that time, I believe that my unconscious thought process was if I was surrounded with melodrama and chaotic situations, I would be taken out of my pain. Drama diversion if you will. It really didn't work, and my emotional pain only increased. Still, I held on to those ideas for many years. I was extremely unhealthy. I was always angry. I was so miserable.
I don't know exactly what made me stop. One day I just made the decision to put my bad behavior behind me. I did it and never looked back. Day by day I worked on myself from the inside out. I gradually grew into a woman I actually like and am proud of. I didn't much like myself during the drama era, which is what I've named it. I can't remember the last time I was angry. Change started with me, and I continue that into the present. I can only control Michelle. Not others or their stuff. Just my stuff.
There are days, like today, when I have to make a decision. I can either let this person get to me and fester in the situation or I can let it go. I can react immediately or I can take myself out of the situation for the meantime and then address it later. Pause.
I try to treat people the way I would like to be treated. Practice random acts of kindness. It's how I roll today, and I couldn't be happier.
The next time someone pushes your buttons, try pausing. It works, I promise.
Serenity is now. Drama is so yesterday.