Thursday, July 26, 2012

Reflections on My Career as a Mom on Thursday

I don't really feel like writing today, which is why I'm writing.    A friend shared a quote with me this afternoon and said it made her think of me, "If I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad."  I thought this was so true, and so fitting of my mood today.

Today is one of those days where I'm not feeling much like doing much.  I have a lot weighing on my mind, that distracting myself with my iPod, a good book and maybe a mani/pedi for a few hours sounds like heaven.  However, I do not have the luxury of taking today off.   I have a "to-do" list a mile long and there are two kids who need attention from me.

I am a stay-at-home mom.  I tried the career-working mom thing for a while when my daughter (my oldest child) was little, and decided it wasn't for me.  I wanted to raise my kids.  So I quit my job and became a full time mom after my son was born.   I had dreams of being that perfect mother who did all the perfect-mom things you see on TV.   I would cook elaborate gourmet meals for my family, have a perfectly clean house, laundry all caught up, volunteer in my "spare time" and raise beautiful, well-behaved children.

In other words, I thought I could achieve perfection.  Well, my daughter is now 16 and my son is 12.  I think, for the most part, I've done a pretty good job with my end of the parenting business.  But I have finally realized that I'm so far from perfect it's ridiculous.  The mere attempt at perfection is ridiculous.  All I really have to accomplish is what I need to do each day and make sure my kids are happy, loved and taken care of.  As I mature, I've learned that perfection is most definitely not reality.

Today there will be no gourmet meal, the house is semi-clean but would probably give Martha Stewart a heart attack (kids and their friends live here for Pete's sake!!)  and the laundry is a work-in-progress as usual.  Our day was filled with friends who came over to hang out, carpool to football and basketball, some laundry that may eventually get folded before I go to bed, errands and I managed to squeeze in my Ironman Training (that will be a topic for another day).  But the kids are happy and that's what counts.

Now....that being said...I am at a point in my life where I have decided that it's time for me to go back to work.   This is one of the things on my "to-do" list that has become increasingly more important to me.   I'm humming Eminem's "Lose Yourself" right now.  It might just have to be my theme song (doesn't everyone need a theme song?!)   Take an opportunity when it arises, because I might not get it again.  This is where balance will have to come into play.  Balance is defined as "an even distribution".  It is definitely something that I will have to practice (along with patience).

Not everything on my list needs to be done today.  I take solace from that.  I will accomplish what I can and the rest will wait until tomorrow.    That is the beauty of imperfection!   I am grateful to be busy being a mom to Kendall and Nick today.  I am happy that I'm taking steps to go back to work.    I am grateful that I sat down to write.  At least a small part of my mind was emptied.    Madness averted for now!

No comments:

Post a Comment