Thursday, January 2, 2014

The Quest

I talk about facing my fears in this blog. It is my daily struggle for progression in life. I was asked by someone close to me today if I thought it ironic that I write about "fear no more".... yet am still full of fear.  No.  I don't find it ironic.  However, this idea gave me food for thought.  I love writing, and this blog is my outlet.  I'm not discouraged to discover new fears crop up, but rather inspired by them.  Progress, not perfection.  That's what this phase of my path is all about to me.  I've awakened recently and discovered that I like me.  With all my faults.  I can't hide from the world, but rather I must embrace it.  There is no other way for me to move forward and gain strength then to walk through my fears with an open heart and mind.  To stagnate is to die.  And I want to live.

It inspires me, and fills me with hope to hear feedback from readers that in some way, this blog has touched them, as they have similar struggles. Let's be honest.  Fear is a force.  But only if we let it get to that point.  If my fumbles can help even one, then it's worth it to write honestly in this forum.  Spiritual journaling with a purpose.  Sure, it might come back and bite me on the ass, but I'll take that chance.

The key component to me is putting it out there.  So what if something comes down the road that I struggle with.  It's called Life.  Shit happens, as they say.  It's what we do with the shit that matters.  Sit in it or step out of it.  To me, it's a simple choice.  Move on.

That being said, I want to expound upon my fear du jour.  It may sound silly, but with the serious things going on right now in my life, I want to write a light hearted piece.

For me,  I think one of a woman's most dreaded obstacles in life isn't boyfriend or work struggles....but rather shopping for jeans.

Jeans are a staple in our wardrobe.  They can be dressed up, dressed down, worn to the point of being held together by a mere string of fabric, patched, faded and loved.  Like a relationship, our love affair with our jeans goes through many stages.  Love, hate, anger when the zipper won't zip and elation when we can fit back into our "skinny" jeans or when our "boyfriend" jeans feel as if we are comfortably ensconced in sweat pants.

Then comes the sad day when your favorite pair of jeans are just not fit for public display.

At this point, it becomes necessary to shop for a new pair. Second only to bathing suit shopping, it can be painful. It can be likened to dating.  We get dressed up, go out, try several on and nothing fits just like they should.  The mini try-on sessions just don't feel right. Frustration sets in.  We just want the perfect match.  Is that asking too much?  It's all about putting the jeans on and having that "ahhhhh" moment and you just know you've found them. Like anything in life, it takes time and patience.

After the perfect pair is found, the honeymoon phase sets in.  We want to wear them all the time.  With heels, with sneakers, with sequin tops or with a sweatshirt.  Never ending fun combinations and happiness.  When we look good in our jeans, we feel that we can conquer the world.

With time, the jeans grow more comfortable.  They seems to mold with our body, forming just the right fit.  They soften, fade and become more dear.

Facing the fear, letting it go, processing a new situation and giving it time to grow.  In time, almost everything becomes like the perfect pair of jeans.  Comfortable, easy and just right.  Given a little effort, love and patience.

If you need me, I will be shopping fearlessly for a new pair of jeans.